This is hard

The reality of this move has hit me. I've cried so hard and so much that my tear ducts should be dry. Seriously, I can't believe I can still produce tears.

Our dog, Abby, went to a new home yesterday. A childhood friend of Kevin's had a neighbor who took her. This is a family with 4 kids and another beagle, Missy. They came up from Oklahoma last night. Abby took to the kids well and couldn't wait to go with them. I thought I had cried enough earlier in the day and thought I'd be fine, but I lost it when Abby got into their van. I couldn't even compose myself. I was so embarrassed and yet overcome with sadness. I just kept thinking, I can't believe she's leaving, I can't believe we're doing this.

Abby has been our family dog since she was 8 weeks old, back in 2001. My heart is so broken right now. I made it through last night ok. Maybe ok is an overstatement. I took Avery and McKenna to the opera at Friends, so we were out of the house. I managed to sleep until 4 am, then woke up and just couldn't stop crying. Wondering if she's ok, if she's sleeping, if she knows what's going on. I am just overwhelmed with grief and sadness. I cry. All the time. My poor girls have to put up with a mom who cries, when I should be the one drying their tears.

This week will probably go fast, and theres a lot that needs to be done. Packing, packing, packing, wrapping up things with Avery and McKenna's schools. Finishing my classes at Friends, saying our good-byes, etc...and somewhere in the mix, I'm trying to figure out how the girls and I can get H1N1 vaccines.

I'm hoping today goes better than yesterday. I'm hoping the pain in my heart and stomach subsides. I'm hoping to get through the day without totally falling apart.

Family Pix

We were finally able to get our pictures taken as a family last week. We don't have all of the proofs yet, but the photographer put a few on her personal blog. Go here to see them.

Dr. Daddy!

So, you probably know by now, Kevin successfully defended his dissertation this week and he is officially Dr. Osborn. McKenna keeps calling him "Doctor Daddy." She also asked me one day if he was going to work in the building with the other doctors (the one we go to when we're sick). I always joke with people and say, "he's not the kind of doctor that makes money, but he will be the kind of doctor that will change the world." I can't even put into words how proud I am of him. I married way up, and I know it. I'm so grateful to be his wife, the mother of his children, the love of his life. I have no idea what God has in store for us, but I know it will be good.

It's been another busy week around here, and, I assume the busyness won't stop for quite some time. We spent most of the day yesterday packing, or, rather, trying to figure out how to start packing. I remember being in 5th grade and my family was moving from Ks to Ky for my dad to go to seminary. I thought it was so strange that my mom was starting to pack weeks before the move. I also remember that everything just seemed to happen, without my doing much work (and without my consent). Now, I'm keenly aware that things WON'T get done around here unless I do it (with Kevin's help, of course). I guess it's the harsh reality of being an adult. sigh... Today, we're going to tackle the garage, and have lunch with good friends. This is Kevin's last week at Friends U. A week from today, he'll head to Ca to start at Fuller. Then, he'll come back, help me finish with the house, we'll close, celebrate Thanksgiving with family, then head west. Seems like a dream. Not a nightmare, just a dream. A dream that includes a lot of work.

Thank you for your prayers for Kevin and our family. We know God is in each step of every process and path we're on. There are a lot of unknowns for us right now, but we know a known God and are clinging to His word and truth.

Big Day and no pix

Tomorrow is a big day for the Osborns. Kevin and I are heading up to Lawrence for his defense. It starts at noon (CST) and will probably go until 2. Please pray for him-for favor with his committee, for clarity of thought as he answers questions, for everything. We are confident that it will be great, but anxious, none the less.

No Halloween pix for the blog. If you know blogger, you know posting pix isn't the easiest thing to do. I put them on facebook, so if you want to see them, go there. The girls had a great time last night. Avery was princess Belle, McKenna was Pebbles Flintstone, and Presley was a lady bug. They got way too much candy, but they were so good.

Thanks for the prayers!

My Family by Avery Osborn

Avery is always doing a craft project or some type of art or story. Recently, she's been writing books. Here is the latest...

My Family by Avery Osborn 2009

My Family look's like this. Look down. My Dad and my mom my sister's and me. We also have a dog her Name is Abby

My Dad like's to work. My Mom like's to work out.

my sister Mckenna like's to play. my sister Presley like's to play to.

and I like to go to Grandma and Grandpa's hose. I am mooving to a Noo home. and it is ok but I do not wont to moov.

It is Fall 2009 the tree's are changing color's. Fall

Fall yes Fall yes yes

My family it is Fall the end

Pumpkins

The girls were still fighting the virus that hit us last week, but we carved pumpkins anyway.

Before we started, Avery read the Pumpking Patch Parable.

Presley doesn't quite know what to do.

Avery and her pumpkin

McKenna and her pumpkin

Cabin fever and SOLD!

I'm so ready for this week to be over.

Avery is finally feeling better. Still complaining about a sore throat and tummy ache, but no fever and the coughing has almost stopped. McKenna is starting day 6 of this virus. She got tested for the flu yesterday but it came back negative. So, we don't know what it is that's taken these girls down. Presley had a fever off and on yesterday, but this morning was really sick. She kept saying "uh oh" and just whimpering. I just put her down for a nap. McKenna is asleep on the couch downstairs and Avery is in our bed watching tv. I want to escape. I have cabin fever. The only time I've been out this week was to take the girls to the dr. I need some fresh air. I want to eat at a restaurant, where someone else cleans up the mess. I want to go to the Y and work out.

On the up side-we have a contract on the house! We plan to close on Nov. 24. We'll have to stay with family thru the Thanksgiving week, then we'll head west. We tried to sell "by owner" but we weren't having much luck and didn't have time to just sit and wait. I hate the roller coaster of emotions that come with having a house on the market. The constant cleaning and de-cluttering, hoping the phone will ring, wondering what people are thinking as they look through your home, wishing you could do more. On Tuesday night, the realtor put in online, and by Wednesday, we had an offer we couldn't refuse. I'm glad it sold, but my stomach hurts thinking about the money we're spending on having a realtor. Seriously, my stomach really hurts just thinking about it. Sigh...

So, we have a lot to do. Pack, pack, pack. Organize. We need to figure out if we can get rid of stuff here, or if we need to find a storage unit in Pasadena. We're moving from a 2400 sf. home to a 1300 sf. apartment. Fuller graciously offered an apartment for us to live in, for up to a year, so we could get out here and take our time looking for the perfect (and affordable) house. I know I shouldn't feel like this, but, I feel like I have a huge weight on my shoulders and I just don't know how all of the pieces are going to fit into place. Schooling for Avery, transition for all 3 girls, Kevin's defense, money for this move, closure for my students at Friends, finding a home for our dog who's been in our family for 8 years, Christmas, a family wedding in January. It's overwhelming right now. And, yet, I'm thankful, and hopeful. Or, at least I'm trying to be.