Transition

We've been in a state of transition since June, really. Last May, Kevin got the first call asking to apply for a new position at Fuller. Since, then, 2 thoughts have constantly been on my mind-1) if we stay in Wichita, and 2) if we move...

I fully supported Kevin in this decision. I was totally on board. I was so excited to move and start a new life in California. I knew the girls would grow to love living close to the beach. McKenna was born to be a surfer girl :)

Now, I feel so guilty about the relationships and new friendships Avery and McKenna made from August until we moved in November. They both just started school and were getting into a schedule and meeting new friends. Then we moved.

Now, we're in Pasadena, with the hope of moving to Valencia(about 30 minutes away). I'm homeschooling Avery. While I know it was the best decision, I have very mixed feelings about it, a whole other post, perhaps. And, the original plan was to find a preschool for McKenna, but when we decided to look at homes in Valencia, we decided not to put her in preschool, not knowing when we'd find a home and have to pull her out.

So, the girls are slowly starting to make friends again. But, they don't understand that when we finally find a house and move, we probably won't see these friends anymore. I don't want to find a doctor here, because I'll have to find a new one when we buy a house and move. I don't want to make friends, just someone else I'll have to say goodbye to when we move, again. Transition sucks. I feel like my life is on hold, yet has to go on. I hate this feeling. It's hard to be depressed when you have to take care of and school 3 kids under 6. But all I want to do is cry and stay in bed.

And, if this move and adjustment wasn't enough to deal with, I'm also adjusting to a VERY unexpected pregnancy. I'm 15 weeks along, and I think the reality has finally hit me this week. My jeans don't fit anymore. They fit last week just fine. I'm hungry most of the day, but nothing really sounds good. Sushi (actually California rolls, ironically) sounds good, but I can't afford to eat it every day, nor should I. I'm already starting to have some ligament pain. Ugh. I just didn't see this obstacle/blessing coming at this point in time. I'm surprised by what God thinks I can handle...

Everyone we meet says how much they love Pasadena. Really? I must have not seen the best this city has to offer, yet. I don't see much good about this place. The view is beautiful, the weather is nice. However, this town isn't very kid-friendly, everything is more expensive here (except avacados) and we're living in an apartment that no amount of comet or 409 can clean. I don't get it.

But, life goes on. Meals need to be made. Diapers need to be changed. Fun needs to be had. And KU basketball must be watched. So, I will try to enjoy life in the midst of this transition. I will try to make memories with my family. I will try to be a better wife and mom. I. Will. Try...