Faith and loss

My sister's very dear friend, Anna, delivered a baby boy on Monday. He went to heaven this morning. I don't know Anna well. The last time I saw her was last year at my sister's baby shower. But my heart is aching for her. I'm so sad for her, her husband, Patrick, her older son, Zen, and their family. I prayed a lot this week. I cried almost every time I prayed. I remembered my husband's very first blog post. He wrote about my sister's miscarriage and grief. You can read it here.
Today was absolutely beautiful. We spent most of the day outside. Had a picnic at the park. We rode bikes, jumped rope, played some silly game the girls made up that involved spinning in circles until someone falls down. We had a great day. But, in the midst of those great moments, my mind went to Anna. It's hard to have fun when you know someone is not. I almost feel guilty because I had fun today. I realize that sounds silly. But every time I thought about her, I was reminded of her pain, her sorrow, her grief. I don't know what to think or how to feel. I'm glad today is almost over. I'm holding my girls tighter tonight and praising God for one more day with them.