Friday, March 20, 2009

Purpose Driven

Heather, over at Whittaker Woman, wrote this post yesterday. At first glance, I just read through and went on. I went back later to read her comments and realized that a lot of women struggle with what their purpose is. WARNING-I'm not here to judge anyone, this is just my story. A bunch of random thoughts on my purpose.
I majored in music in college because I thought that it was the only thing I was good at. I got a masters degree because I couldn't find a teaching job in KY with my KS certificate. And, because I wanted to be a better singer.
The minute I held Avery in my arms, I knew what my purpose was. I knew I wanted to be at home with her. I vividly remember begging Kevin to not "make" me go back to work. I couldn't bear leaving her. My heart ached at the thought of working outside the home. But, at the time, we needed the income my job provided. My purpose was to be the best teacher, wife and mom I could be.
There were many times where I would just cry to Kevin about having to work. I would tell him over and over, "I just want to be a mom." He would always tell me, "you are a mom- and no job inside or outside the home is going to change that."
About 2 years ago, I went from working full time to working one day a week. I consider myself a stay at home mom. I LOVE the season of life that I'm in right now. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is my purpose right now. I know that God has equipped me to do this job, with His help. I know that it's a hard job, at times. There's no paycheck and the list of responsibilities seems to grow each week. I have an amazing husband who supports me, who wants me to take care of the home, who appreciates me and the job I do.
I haven't taught in the public school classroom since 2004, and that was in KY. My KS teaching certificate expires next year, and I've been told (by the government) that it won't be renewed unless I have 2 years of teaching experience in the state of KS. Part of me feels like such a failure for letting this certificate "go." I'm still paying for the degree that got me the certificate, I think that's what makes me mad the most. That I'm in debt for a degree I'm not even using. I'm not about to go back into teaching full-time, though. It's not my purpose. Again, I'm not here to judge, if God called you to work outside the home, then, by all means, work hard to be the best at what you do. And don't forget to give Him the glory when you succeed.
I'm working hard to be the best wife and mom I can be. On Fridays, I work (kind of:) hard to be the best voice teacher. My purpose hasn't changed much. My location and hours just fluctuate.
God will never instill a desire in your heart that He won't allow and equip you to fulfill. It may not be on your timeline or on your terms. It may not unfold the way you envisioned, but God's Will will be done.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty if fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

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